Remorse

carloseduardogoncalves

02 Dezembro 2015 | 13h00

She cannot move anymore, fraught with various, alternating, pains. And I feel paralyzed too: the numbness in my brain, limbs and heart are rooted in sadness and remorse.

She raised me, she encouraged me to jump in the swimming pool, she ran with me to the hospital and watched over my sleep. She did all she could possibly do.

But I couldn’t help her, ever. In part, I was utterly impotent, but in part I lacked the courage and was selfish — I ran away. I sought another track (and found it). I distanced myself from her and there is no use crying over my cowardice now.

I will not say I am sorry, though I am terribly sorry. I will remain shut, in honor of her courage.